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Faktoja Jack Bauerista

-When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed
to have the sentence reduced to death.

-When bad things happen to good people, its probably fate. When bad things
happen to bad people, it's probably Jack Bauer.

-Jack Bauer never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

-The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for
his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept
dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

-Life doesn't give Jack Bauer lemons. Life asks him which fruit he wants.

-Jack Bauer doesn't need to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom because his
organs are afraid of making him angry.

-There have been no terrorist attacks in United States since Jack Bauer has
appeared on television.

-If Jack Bauer gives you his word, return it immediately and run.

-Jack Bauer can break anyone and anything, but he will always break the
protocol first.

-Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next
half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

-Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed
Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

-Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

-When 24 airs on the Spanish channel everyones lines are translated except for
Jack's. The reason for this, nobody speaks for Jack Bauer.

-When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.

-Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

-Jack Bauer doesn't have a firewall on his PC. He has a Bauerwall. It's
basically just a JPEG of Jack Bauer. No virus has ever attacked Jack
Bauer's PC. Ever.

-Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

-Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

-It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk.
Oh you are so screwed.

-Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

-Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

-Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any
foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.

-Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the
Most Out Of Each Day."

-Jack Bauer is so well endowed that if he were on Prison Break, the
blueprints would all be tattooed around his penis.

-Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been
looking for him.

-Jack Bauer can leave a message before the beep.